


Faithless

by cadkitten



Series: Desperation [5]
Category: Dir en grey
Genre: Anal Sex, Bloodplay, Breathplay, Cheating, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-23
Updated: 2011-05-23
Packaged: 2017-12-05 13:24:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/723776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cadkitten/pseuds/cadkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Side fic to Deviant. This is about the night that Kyo and Die had alone, the night Kaoru doesn't know about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faithless

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lumineaux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumineaux/gifts).



> Prompt: From Deviant - "Kyo groans, his cock jumping slightly as he draws his fingers across his chest, his nails leaving raised red lines. I've learned that he likes some amount of pain involved with sex. My eyes rake over his thighs and the wounds I left for him last time. There's still faint lines from where he's still healing and it reminds me of how hard he came when I did it."  
> Beta Readers: kismekilmeluvme, gothic_hime  
> Song[s]: "Corona Radiata" by Nine Inch Nails

I'd never even debated it before, never thought I'd find myself in a situation that was technically verging on cheating. But somehow I found myself there one night. The show had been a rough one, all of us drained from a long tour and each of us on edge to the point that the smallest things were making us snap at one another. Just before we went on, Kaoru and I had it out, both of us screaming at one another so loud that if the intro music hadn't been pumped so high, the audience would have heard us.

He'd found me in the bathroom having a few moments alone with myself before the show and for whatever reason it made him snap at me, virtually take my head off for what we would both later think was a ridiculous reason. But the truth of the matter was really that neither of us ever argued over the things that made sense. Instead we argued over the pointless, petty shit that had little basis in our relationship. But I suppose that's what made us work the way we did and anything that kept us together was somewhat of a good thing.

Needless to say, I had to stop what I'd been doing and put up with feeling like a piece of trash for a simply necessary form of relief. I've never handled stress well and that's always been my only true outlet. Kaoru generally understands that and doesn't take it personal. But that night... he did.

By the time we went on stage, he was furious and I just felt like shit. It took me most of the show to even find the ability to really throw myself into it, and I think it showed. The crowd looked desperate to make me smile, doing all they could to help, and even Kyo seemed to be making the rounds, trying to lean on each of us a little to facilitate a stronger, more harmonious bond with the band.

The break before encore was held in complete silence, even Toshiya and Shinya not daring to break the very thin ice we were all skating on, though I could see that look in Toshiya's eyes that told he was well aware we were verging on something that could make us all snap if one wrong move was made. We filed back out and the rest of the show went off without any other hitches. We left in our usual fashions except that I left just after Kyo, desperate to not have to be cornered by Kaoru again and quite frankly, needing relief of another kind by then.

I raced away to the bathroom and immediately went about relieving myself into the urinal, my head resting against my arm braced on the wall. It wasn't until I was done that I realized the single stall was occupied and some rather familiar noises were coming from within in. One check on the feet under the door and I knew it was Kyo. Whatever rational part of my brain there was left just sort of snapped in half and left me doing something that was incredibly reckless.

I didn't even knock, I just flicked the shitty lock on the door with one nail in the slit and barged in on him and his private moment. If I'd stopped to think, I would have realized it was rather like what Kaoru had done to me earlier. But I wasn't thinking. Instead I was just dead set on my half-formulated plan that was something between lust and revenge. And before I knew it, I had Kyo's damp hair in my hands, my mouth pressed against his and my tongue halfway down his throat.

He didn't object, didn't even try to resist me. Rather, he just sort of melted into it, letting me have my way with him, as though he knew I needed it. And even when I hauled him up off the toilet and pressed him between my body and the wall, he just helped me. He was pliant, like putty in my hands, doing whatever I needed or wanted without protest.

By the time I came to my senses, I had him turned so his chest was to the wall, his pants around his knees and my dick in my hand. And still, not a word from Kyo. But it was there that I stopped, that I realized doing this here where we could both get caught was a terrible idea. My body pressed to his, my dick slipping between his ass cheeks, just sliding along the slit a few times while I groaned in his ear. The tip of my dick pressed at his asshole for a long moment before I pulled back, nearly toppling him to the floor as I started doing my pants back up.

When I moved to leave, he just stared at me, this lost, helpless look in his eyes and I knew I had to finish what I'd started. I couldn't leave him hanging like that, not when we both knew damn well that we were supposed to sort of be in this together. The only problem with what we were doing was that it didn't involve Kaoru and the sort of unspoken rule to all of it was that Kaoru and I could fuck around alone, but that was the only part allowed alone. Not me and Kyo and not Kyo and Kaoru. Somehow it was just there... a knowledge that that's how it would be because of how our relationship developed, despite it not making any damn sense at all.

But I could see in his face that he didn't care right then. He wanted the company, needed the human contact just as much as I did. And with Kaoru mad at me, there was no way I was getting that... no way Kyo and I were getting that. So I did the only thing I could think of and I held my hand out to him, drawing him to me and kissing him deeply for a moment before whispering to him that I'd finish this for us both later, at the hotel tonight. It satisfied him and I left him there, washing up and departing the room without so much as a backward glance.

Hours passed until we finally got to the hotel, the bus pulling in at what was mostly considered an ungodly hour and we all piled out, rushing to get to our rooms and crash for the night. I showered and got into my sweat pants, nervously waiting on Kyo, knowing he would come to me if he wanted to finish what we'd started earlier. And I was right. Almost an hour after we'd arrived at the hotel, a soft knock came at my door and when I opened it, Kyo pushed his way in past me.

I looked down the hall and found no one else there, no one watching. Locking the door in every conceivable manner, I turned to find Kyo all damp hair and bare skin, staring at me with the most pleading of looks. For the strong man he always was, he could sometimes get a look on his face that just broke your heart, and that was the look he was giving me right then. He was already hard, his dick jutting out from his body, framed by his neatly trimmed thatch of pubic hair.

Moving to him, I paused just inches away from him, pushing my own pants down and stepping free of them. His arms were around me moments after and his neck craning so he could catch my lips in a passionate kiss as he all but plastered his body to my own. We toppled onto the bed, him scooting back and me stalking up over him, pushing my way in between his thighs. It only took some brief fumbling before I could feel him already rolling a condom onto my dick, the pop of the cap on the lubricant telling me he was prepping himself and I didn't need to worry about it.

Looking back at it, I'm certain the room reeked of desperation. Both of us needed the contact and we'd both been denying ourselves anything for the whole month-long tour. His hand wrapped around my shaft, guiding me with it until I was pressed against his hole and he hissed out the command for me to just do it. I shoved in with one hard thrust and his cry bounced off the walls. For once in my life, I was thankful Kaoru had opted for the room furthest away from everyone else, having taken the only suite room, which was on a completely different floor and the other side of the building.

Kyo's legs wrapped around me, his dick pressing against my belly as he helped me move, both of his hands buried in my hair. The entire time we never stopped kissing, eating one another alive out of pure carnal desire. And even as I fucked him, I could think of nothing else other than how good he felt and how much I'd needed him. It didn't even take me two minutes before he had to pull back from kissing me, his entire body tensing as he came between us, his dick throbbing and his neck and shoulders turning red from holding his breath. My hands moved to touch him, one wrapping around that slim neck and squeezing ever so faintly, the other trailing past pert nipples and moving down to his abdomen, over old scars. And without even thinking, my nails dug into him, ripping four lines across his stomach that beaded up with blood in a matter of seconds.

It was then that he cried out, his back arching and his breath gasping in and he struggled under me. But his hands told me he wanted it, one grabbing my wrist on his neck and forcing me to press down even more. The other came to find my other hand, his fingers curling along my own and showing me the right angle before he raked my hand across his own flesh. His ass clenched around me and then without so much as any warning at all, he started to violently shove himself down on my dick. How he managed it from such an angle, I'll never know. But when Kyo wants something, Kyo takes it. That much has always been clear.

Getting the point, I started fucking him at breakneck speed, putting as much force into it as humanly possible without actually hurting him. The bed protested beneath us, squeaking and the headboard slamming against the wall in fast staccato with our pace. My nails cut line after line in his flesh, his blood staining the sheet beneath him, running lines down his belly to mix with his cum into a pale, pink syrup.

I held out as long as I could, clinging on to the very last second before I simply fell over the edge, damn near screaming as I rammed my cock into him as deep as I could and then stilled, filling the condom with my sweet, sweet release. Kyo yanked my blood-stained hand down to his dick, wrapping my fingers around it and then letting go; a silent request for me to finish him off a second time. Much to my surprise it only took a few rough jerks before he let out a deep moan, his hips jerking as he sprayed his release out over his own body. I milked him until nothing more came out and then slid free of his body, falling to the side and pulling him close to me, cradling him close. He disposed of the condom and then curled around me, neither of us caring how much we'd wrecked the sheets or anything else.

Hours later we had fallen asleep, tangled in the sheets and one another. And in the morning, we'd repeated the same process in reverse, Kyo taking me harder than I'd ever been taken in my life.

To this day, I don't regret it. I feel a little like it's something to hide, something to keep just between us and the poor stained mattress at that hotel. But I don't ever regret anything we did. And I suppose, in the end, that's what truly matters.

**The End**  



End file.
